"Not Anymore"

I 'm stuck
within the white walls,
adding and subtracting,
trying to solve
 the emotional equations.


The lonely face scares me....
Never ending nightmares
spreading the grey,
inside and outside.. .

I grope for the hands
in blanketing darkness


Growing silences
mocked loudly
inabilities grinned,
desires got flesh and blood

Now they bite me
with masked hatred
'Not anymore' soul vomits
face that saw the horrors of love
yells out in vain' Not anymore'